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Every so often I make a new "deal" with myself. They often don't last long because I'm not super commited to them or they hinge on unrealistic expectations for myself, but I think this one could work. I've never seen anyone else have something like this, so I'm curious to see if anyone has thoughts or wants to try it with me.

Basically, I'm letting myself relapse. I can hurt myself if I want to, I can take whatever drugs I want to take and I can drink copiously if I want to, and I can starve myself to my heart's content. But I can only do all of this if I become less of a loser. I have to spend most of my time doing things that are interesting and fulfilling, and I'm not allowing myself to scroll endlessly on social media. To me, scrolling is a waste of…

Today I ate. It was a burger and tater tots for dinner. I feel a horrible, disgusting feeling, but it feels so good to eat. I wish it didn't. I want it so bad, the chase the high. But i couldn't stop myself. I'll try again tomorrow.

I recently moved to Florida with my mom and her boyfriend and I've been trying to lose weight from "toxic" to healthy but nothing works. I was sent this site by one of my Discord friends and i hope it helps me out.

Xoxo

What is truly and deeply going on inside of my mind right now? It seems so deep and so shallow in different places, but I don’t think either perspective is really right. If it were as simple as wanting to be thin to be attractive, I’d run into the conundrum that there’s very few reasons for me to want to be attractive, and I know what it was like to be somewhat thin and I didn’t love it that much. But if it’s not, why does every example of my growing thinness bring me such disgusting euphoria? 

Fitting my fingers around my wrist, even just barely, the most sickening smile came across my lips. I started laughing and bouncing around when I noticed that I had clearly lost weight in my thighs. Drying off after a shower I moved in such a way that I could see my individual ribs…

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